Thursday, September 22, 2011

One step too far.

The rules are simple:

Fifty-five words or less (non-negotiable), excluding the title.
A setting
One or more characters
Some conflict



“Not doing it, no, no.

“You’ll regret it”.

“Thought I could, but I can’t go through with it”.

“Do it, you’ve come this far, do it”.

“Oh God, what will my family think of me”?

“Do it, Do it.

“It’s my kids I’m thinking about”.

“You knew what you were getting into”.

“Oh shit, BUNGEEEEEEEE”.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Should I believe him?

Listen, I told you once, I ain't seen no chocolate.


Listen, I told you once, I ain't seen no chocolate.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Gone.

The door swung open; his sister had returned. “Confirmed John, they booked the flight over a week ago, bastards”.

“I’m glad they have gone far away sis; what could we say to them”?

“What sort of bastards are you for starters”.

“I don’t feel angry, just a numbness”.

“I have anger, lots of it.

“To think I thought he was doing me a favour; keeping her company when I worked late. How naive, I thought I was putting him out”.

“Such a fucking mess John, what a scheming bitch”.

“I should have known it was too good to be true; why would a girl like her want me”?

“What! She is not fit to crawl in your shit; she doesn’t deserve to be on the same planet as you”.

“Not so loud sis mum will hear”

“Doctor gave her a sedative; he said she will sleep for a while”.

“I worshipped her; I don’t know what I could have done different”.

“Don’t you dare feel any guilt John; everything happened behind your back”,

“What was it dad used to say: ‘Always expect the unexpected’.

“He often said that, I wish he was here now; and not with your effing girlfriend”.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Always read the label.

While out shopping with her young daughter mother came upon a self service store she had never seen before.

"Great, a new shop, let's take a look", she said happily to her youngster.

Once inside she picked up a basket and they began walking down the aisle. "Nobody else is in here mummy", the little girl said sounding puzzled.

Mum had also realised this said "We may be the very first customers, perhaps there will be a special welcome for us."

"Fish fingers, can we have some please mum? " She gleefully shouted.

Mum was smiling when she picked up the box to check the brand, but the expression on her face soon turned to one of horror. Written across the box was a sign, "Warning, this box contains poisons that can kill".

Horrified, she quickly dropped the box before turning to the opposite aisle and seeing a strange tin of beans with the wordings, "Danger, this product contains toxins".

Now absolutely terrified she grabbed her daughters hand which held a chocolate bar with the printed information, " Eating this may cause cancer".

Fighting off a panic attack mum threw the bar to the ground before racing with her daughter to the exit. However, just as they were about to leave a staring man mysteriously appeared before them, he was dressed entirely in black, similar to an undertaker.

He calmly asked, "Is everything to your satisfaction madam?"

Mum, both stunned and amazed replied "The goods here are a disgrace, only some sort of a fool would buy them."

Unperturbed the strange man replied "Well we do put the warnings on the products, so it is up to you whether you buy them or not".

Far too upset to continue with the conversation she gripped her little ones hand and fled far away from the shop before daring to stop. The little girl could see that her mum was very upset so she said to her,

"Mummy why don't you open your cigarettes, they make you feel better, don't they?".

Sunday, October 4, 2009

WILL YOU SURVIVE THE OPERATION?

INSIDE HOSPITAL THEATRE----DOCTOR IS FURIOUSLY PUMPING A PATIENTS HEART, WITH MATRON LOOKING ON ANXIOUSLY.

THE DOCTOR STOPS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD-------I think that’s it nurse, we can’t do anymore.

MATRON APPEARS TO BE SHOCKED AND SURPRISED-------But doctor you must try resuscitation a while longer, and give him a I.C.I. injection.

DOCTOR SEEMING VERY RELUCTANT ------Yes I know, but it’s the nurses staff party tonight and I have so been looking forward to it.

MATRON TOTALLY AGHAST------The nurses can manage very well without you, but this patient needs you.

DOCTOR SIGHING------You don't understand, it's the one night in the year I will get to see the nurses out of their uniforms. They are going as members of the public this year, have you any idea what seeing a nurse dressed in civillian clothes does to a red blooded male?

MATRONS FACE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WHEN A NURSE RUSHES IN.

NURSE-----I have the patients papers here doctor.

WHILE READING THE PAPERS A LOOK OF HORROR SUDDENLY APPEARS ON HIS FACE.-----Oh my God, quick matron prepare the I.C.I. injection, nurse don’t you dare go anywhere, we need you.

MATRON IS HAPPILY AMAZED BY HIS CHANGE OF ATTITUDE----So glad to see you have finally come to your senses doctor.

DOCTOR HAND PUMPING PATIENT--------I have just read his notes, he's an organ donor, if he dies I will be here all night carefully removing them.

AGAIN THE MATRON LOOKS ON SPEECHLESS AS THE PATIENT MIRACULOUSLY BEGINS TO COUGH AND SPLUTTER.

SUDDENLY THE DIRECTORS VOICE BELLOWS------Cue the slogan.

THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO SIGN.---ORGAN DONORS ARE MORE THAN PRICELESS. WITHOUT YOU, A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL NOT BE GOING ANYWHERE.