GONE.

Orders were to write a story of no more than 200 words, if you broke the rules you would be called a cheeky blighter and a bounder.

GONE.

The door swung open; his sister had returned. “Confirmed John, they booked the flight over a week ago, bastards”.

“I’m glad they have gone far away sis; what could we say to them”?

“What sort of bastards are you for starters”.

“I don’t feel angry, just a numbness”.

“I have anger, lots of it.

“To think I thought he was doing me a favour; keeping her company when I worked late. How naive, I thought I was putting him out”.

“Such a fucking mess John, what a scheming bitch”.

“I should have known it was too good to be true; why would a girl like her want me”?

“What! She is not fit to crawl in your shit; she doesn’t deserve to be on the same planet as you”.

“Not so loud sis mum will hear”

“Doctor gave her a sedative; he said she will sleep for a while”.

“I worshipped her; I don’t know what I could have done different”.

“Don’t you dare feel any guilt John; everything happened behind your back”,

“What was it dad used to say: ‘Always expect the unexpected’.

“He often said that, I wish he was here now; and not with your effing girlfriend”.

Lottery Hell

When I won the lottery I thought all my problems had been solved. I had no idea that £12 m. could be the cause of so such mental stress. Upon winning my advisors suggested that I should enjoy, but not waste my fortune. Little did I know that it would be only days before I would be forced to face my first agonising decision.

Having won my vast amount on a Saturday, Wednesday had arrived in what seemed only a blink of an eye. There had been no time to consider whether I should play the lottery again, I began to panic. With my mind racing I could not make a rational choice so I took a huge gamble and decided to play. I should have known better, I never won a single penny.

This has gone on for almost three months now, twice a week I keep on playing. I did win a further £10, but overall since my huge win I am over £20 down. Some people have won the lottery twice, but I know I am not that lucky. I know stopping is the correct thing to do, but I keep on wasting my money with the words of the advisers ringing in my head.

I am now worrying about Christmas and the extra dilemmas it will bring. In the past I have never bought a round of drinks for my friends, so if I start then will they think I am rubbing my money in their faces? It is exactly the same predicament with the window cleaner, milkman and paper boy. If I tip them now for the first time will they then tell my neighbors I am acting like a flash show off??

Sometimes I wish I could just have my pound back and that somebody else had won. However, I could not be that selfish as to burden other people with my problems.I will soldier on as best I can with the weight of my money an ever increasing burden. My chauffeur does the lottery and I sometimes worry that he if he wins he will leave me. It is exactly the same worry with my cleaner and au pair, I can only pray that they do not win, I could not go through the pressure of finding new staff.These are only an indication of the unforeseen pitfalls that lay in wait for wealthy chaps like me.

So if you are doing the lottery make contingency plans now so you will be prepared if you are cursed with a win. I am sure I am suffering from wealth health and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, never mind poor people.

Divided we Fail.

“Crossroad twins, seaside left, countryside right.”
Right,
Left,
“Agree or we go back.”
Seaside, I’m not budging.
Nor me, why should I?
“Shall I be the casting vote?”
(Together) No, you won’t pick mine.
“Back home it is then."
Can we stop for a McDonald’s?
Burger King.
“Both! Out! and never phone my taxi again”.

One step too far.

The rules are simple:

Fifty-five words or less (non-negotiable), excluding the title.
A setting
One or more characters
Some conflict

“Not doing it, no, no.

“You’ll regret it”.

“Thought I could, but I can’t go through with it”.

“Do it, you’ve come this far, do it”.

“Oh God, what will my family think of me”?

“Do it, Do it.

“It’s my kids I’m thinking about”.

“You knew what you were getting into”.

“Oh shit, BUNGEEEEEEEE”.

Should I believe him?

Listen, I told you once, I ain't seen no chocolate.

Gone.

The door swung open; his sister had returned. “Confirmed John, they booked the flight over a week ago, bastards”.

“I’m glad they have gone far away sis; what could we say to them”?

“What sort of bastards are you for starters”.

“I don’t feel angry, just a numbness”.

“I have anger, lots of it.

“To think I thought he was doing me a favour; keeping her company when I worked late. How naive, I thought I was putting him out”.

“Such a fucking mess John, what a scheming bitch”.

“I should have known it was too good to be true; why would a girl like her want me”?

“What! She is not fit to crawl in your shit; she doesn’t deserve to be on the same planet as you”.

“Not so loud sis mum will hear”

“Doctor gave her a sedative; he said she will sleep for a while”.

“I worshipped her; I don’t know what I could have done different”.

“Don’t you dare feel any guilt John; everything happened behind your back”,

“What was it dad used to say: ‘Always expect the unexpected’.

“He often said that, I wish he was here now; and not with your effing girlfriend”.

Always read the label.

While out shopping with her young daughter mother came upon a self service store she had never seen before.

"Great, a new shop, let's take a look", she said happily to her youngster.

Once inside she picked up a basket and they began walking down the aisle. "Nobody else is in here mummy", the little girl said sounding puzzled.

Mum had also realised this said "We may be the very first customers, perhaps there will be a special welcome for us."

"Fish fingers, can we have some please mum? " She gleefully shouted.

Mum was smiling when she picked up the box to check the brand, but the expression on her face soon turned to one of horror. Written across the box was a sign, "Warning, this box contains poisons that can kill".

Horrified, she quickly dropped the box before turning to the opposite aisle and seeing a strange tin of beans with the wordings, "Danger, this product contains toxins".

Now absolutely terrified she grabbed her daughters hand which held a chocolate bar with the printed information, " Eating this may cause cancer".

Fighting off a panic attack mum threw the bar to the ground before racing with her daughter to the exit. However, just as they were about to leave a staring man mysteriously appeared before them, he was dressed entirely in black, similar to an undertaker.

He calmly asked, "Is everything to your satisfaction madam?"

Mum, both stunned and amazed replied "The goods here are a disgrace, only some sort of a fool would buy them."

Unperturbed the strange man replied "Well we do put the warnings on the products, so it is up to you whether you buy them or not".

Far too upset to continue with the conversation she gripped her little ones hand and fled far away from the shop before daring to stop. The little girl could see that her mum was very upset so she said to her,

"Mummy why don't you open your cigarettes, they make you feel better, don't they?".