Showing posts with label FUNNY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FUNNY. Show all posts

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Divided we Fail.


“Crossroad twins, seaside left, countryside right.”
Right,
Left,
“Agree or we go back.”
Seaside, I’m not budging.
Nor me, why should I?
“Shall I be the casting vote?”
(Together) No, you won’t pick mine.
“Back home it is then."
Can we stop for a McDonald’s?
Burger King.
“Both! Out! and never phone my taxi again”.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

WILL YOU SURVIVE THE OPERATION?

INSIDE HOSPITAL THEATRE----DOCTOR IS FURIOUSLY PUMPING A PATIENTS HEART, WITH MATRON LOOKING ON ANXIOUSLY.

THE DOCTOR STOPS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD-------I think that’s it nurse, we can’t do anymore.

MATRON APPEARS TO BE SHOCKED AND SURPRISED-------But doctor you must try resuscitation a while longer, and give him a I.C.I. injection.

DOCTOR SEEMING VERY RELUCTANT ------Yes I know, but it’s the nurses staff party tonight and I have so been looking forward to it.

MATRON TOTALLY AGHAST------The nurses can manage very well without you, but this patient needs you.

DOCTOR SIGHING------You don't understand, it's the one night in the year I will get to see the nurses out of their uniforms. They are going as members of the public this year, have you any idea what seeing a nurse dressed in civillian clothes does to a red blooded male?

MATRONS FACE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WHEN A NURSE RUSHES IN.

NURSE-----I have the patients papers here doctor.

WHILE READING THE PAPERS A LOOK OF HORROR SUDDENLY APPEARS ON HIS FACE.-----Oh my God, quick matron prepare the I.C.I. injection, nurse don’t you dare go anywhere, we need you.

MATRON IS HAPPILY AMAZED BY HIS CHANGE OF ATTITUDE----So glad to see you have finally come to your senses doctor.

DOCTOR HAND PUMPING PATIENT--------I have just read his notes, he's an organ donor, if he dies I will be here all night carefully removing them.

AGAIN THE MATRON LOOKS ON SPEECHLESS AS THE PATIENT MIRACULOUSLY BEGINS TO COUGH AND SPLUTTER.

SUDDENLY THE DIRECTORS VOICE BELLOWS------Cue the slogan.

THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO SIGN.---ORGAN DONORS ARE MORE THAN PRICELESS. WITHOUT YOU, A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL NOT BE GOING ANYWHERE.